Living life

Tarot cards vs Me

2011-12-16T05:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had my cards read by Dieter. There three things for me that came out, firstly the past and how it damaged me, the current that is hurting and confusing me and the future that seems to offer hope.

Here is just the notes of the reading:

First card says you're out of balance;
The second one says it has to do with your social life, or rather, the people whose company you enjoy.
The foundation card speaks of options/confusion.
The past/passing card speaks of skills, the actual working of a job, the more physical side of it. You've stopped enjoying your skills and talents
Dreams/desires card: your dream is enjoying your life again.
OK, the future card throws me a bit. It's the card I would have used to represent you, but it speaks of learning something new.
Yourself: Queen of Rods. Someone "forceful", who helps people help themselves. Also speaks of a time for you to make your voice heard and to stand on your own feet, physically and emotionally
Your environment: 7 of Pentacles. Rewards for hard work, and knowing that what's worth it is worth working for.
Your hopes/fears: 10 of Cups. It's a relationship, but also getting lost in the relationship.
Getting so absorbed in the relationship that you lose sight of either yourself or what's happening around you / in your life
The last card - The outcome: the Ace of Wands. A time of newness: new relationships, new work, new experiences. New phases. Newness and good things.
(Note: Wands are also Rods. Remember that relationships aren't necessarily romantic. )

I will discuss these notes later.

1 December - World Aids Day

2011-12-01T12:11:00.001-08:00

behind enemy lines

2011-11-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

behind enemy lines

by thecolourofgrace

Corrie Ten Boom said, "The first step on the way to victory is to recognize the enemy." I find Aristotle guiding me along this train of thought as he highlights that the biggest enemy we face is not necessarily something, or someone, external to us: "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."So where does this leave me? Or, rather, what does it draw me back to? A quote (naturally) from Jeremiah, echoing this awareness that we are at times our own worst enemy: "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" This statement has always gripped me by the heart because it succeeds in simultaneously debunking the illusion that we have ourselves figured out. It is a sobering truth that the person we should know the best can be the most deceitful and seemingly uncurable.Taking a long, good look at yourself is generally not a pleasant experience, but I also firmly agree with Socrates that an unexamined life is not worth living and that the examination of self needn't be isolated or depressing . This thought brings be back to Virginia Woolf: "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people". This notion that a balanced view of who we are enables us to put the world, and the people around us in perspective is a valuable one. Equally valuable is, to my mind, the process of learning to yield to the wisdom of our friends (thanks for that one Sophocles!) trusting that they see us with eyes of love and thus enable us to disarm the enemies within in a way we could never achieve flying solo.And finally one last thought from Virginia Woolf that somehow ties in with all of this or perhaps it ties it all together: "I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in."

GAGA launches Born This Way Foundation (BTWF)

2011-11-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

Pop phenomenon and LGBT activist Lady Gaga has announced the launch of a foundation to support programs and initiatives to empower young people.
Named the Born This Way Foundation (BTWF), after her most recent album, the foundation will be headed by Gaga and her mother Cynthia Germanotta and will be backed by a number of respected groups in the US.
"The non-profit charitable organisation will lead youth into a braver new society where each individual is accepted and loved as the person they were born to be," said a statement on the star's website.
BTWF will focus on youth empowerment and equality by addressing issues like self-confidence, well-being, anti-bullying, mentoring and career development and will utilise digital mobilisation as one of the means to create positive change.
"My mother and I have initiated a passion project. We call it the Born This Way Foundation. Together we hope to establish a standard of Bravery and Kindness, as well as a community worldwide that protects and nurtures others in the face of bullying and abandonment," said Gaga (25).
An advisory board will be appointed and announced soon as will additional details about the organisation. The official launch will take place next year.
Gaga has been a vocal critic of the recent epidemic of bullying of gay teens in the US and has even met with President Obama about the issue.

Visit www.BornThisWayFoundation.org to sign up for more information on the foundation.

Stop the parole application of the man that murdered Brett Goldin and Richard Bloom

2011-11-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

The families of Brett Goldin and Richard Bloom, who were murdered in 2006, are opposing a parole application by one of the men involved in the attack.
Nurshad Davids was sentenced to 15 years in prison for hijacking, kidnapping and armed robbery after being found guilty in the hijacking of Goldin and Bloom that led to their murder.
After serving just five years and five months, Davids, who testified against his co-accused in the trial, has applied for parole.
The victims’ relatives have now launched an online petition against Davids being granted his freedom. They also intend to express their opposition directly to the authorities.
"Myself, my daughter Samantha, Bryan Hellmann - Richard's partner - and Brett's father have lodged a formal application with the parole board to be part of the hearing," Goldin's mother, Denise, told 702 News on Monday.
The parole hearing is set to take place on November 16.
In April 2006, the naked bodies of Goldin (28), a popular actor, and clothing designer Richard Bloom (27) were found in Mowbray, Cape Town. The two men, who were openly gay, had been shot in the head.
Davids admitted to being involved in the hijacking of Bloom's car at gunpoint but claimed that he was not present when Goldin and Bloom were killed.
"To me, the hijackers are the source of it all," Goldin told Mambaonline. "They are creating the supply to feed the demand and I feel that they should have let Brett and Richard go once they had both their car keys and their possessions," she said.
Two other men, Shavaan Marlie and Clinton Davids, pleaded guilty to murder and were each sentenced to 28 years in prison.

Source: http://mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6302

Sign the petition by following this link: http://www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/saynotoparole

British gay man murdered and set on fire

2011-10-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

With a possible serial killer about in South Africa, it is sad to hear that of a young man been murdered in the UK. What is to follow is an article about the story:

A 28-year-old British gay man has been murdered and set on fire in what could be one of the most brutal anti-gay attacks in the UK in recent history.
The partially-naked body of Stuart Walker was found in the early hours of Saturday morning in an industrial estate in Ayrshire, Scotland.
Police said that he had suffered horrific injuries and that he had been set on fire. They have also not ruled out the possibly that he was sexually assaulted before being killed.
The authorities are investigating the possibility that the attack on Walker was related to his sexual orientation as a motive.
Chief Superintendent John Thomson told the Scottish Daily Record, however, that "there are a number of open lines of inquiry and we have no distinct motive as yet. I remain optimistic we will being those responsible to book sooner rather than later".
He also denied earlier claims that the well-liked hotel barman had been found tied to a lamppost.
According to reports, after attending a party with friends, Walker was last seen at around 2.30am on Saturday morning near to where his body was found.

Source: http://mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6281

Twitter- homophobic’s account has been removed

2011-10-25T05:59:00.000-07:00

Seems the Twitter - homophobic’s account (i.e. @mabsmiller) has been removed after police launched a search on this person and this was it was due to a complaint by Matt. Great on you Matt. The interesting thing, however, was that the police actually took Matt’s complaint seriously even though his profile picture is of him in his undies only.

However, locally if this would have been the case one is thoughtful that any action would have been taken. It reminds me of a tweet Helen Zille received form a 26 year old white male that had the words “boom rooker” (weed smoker) in it. This man asked Helen Zille a question, why was it so hard for him to find work in South Africa and particularly in Cape Town. She didn’t answer him, but mocked his twitter handle.

It is such pathetic replies from political leader that is problematic in South Africa. If Helen Zille looked as the man’s details she would have seen he is 26, white and male, which means that he only has about 17% chance of getting a position compared to an equally qualified person of a different race and sex in South Africa due to BEE policies. If this 26 year old was indeed gay, then one should have deducted a further 40% off the 17% to determent his chances for employment.

Besides the point that politicians, such as Helen Zillen that need to ask the question if such discrimination is still fair in the current environment, the issues that social media is now demanding of a possible harmonizing of international communication laws to avoid the misuse and discrimination of minority groups. We will have to wait and see how social media is in fact changing our political landscapes, if any.

Alleged photo of the homphobic Twitter user - @mabsmiller

-o-

Web article: Police on the hunt for homophobic Twitter user

Merseyside Police were last night seeking information about the identity and whereabouts of a person identifying himself as Jay Miller, of Liverpool, after the individual posted a string of homophobic abuse on social networking site Twitter.
User complaints were made to the Metropolitan Police who are also assisting in the investigation, and will be contacting members of the public to provide evidence.
Miller posted a number of obscene messages on the site shortly after the death of 28-year-old gay barman Stuart Walker, using the account @mabsmiller.

Source: http://www.blottr.com/north-west/breaking-news/police-hunt-homophobic-twitter-user

The colour purple: Spirit Day

2011-10-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

Millions around the world are expected to wear purple or change their Facebook profile image to purple on Thursday 20 October, dubbed Spirit Day, to show support for bullied LGBT youth.
Spirit Day was started last year by Canadian teenager Brittany McMillan in honour of LGBT teens who committed suicide due to anti-gay bullying. The concept caught on and the day is now being marked by individuals, corporations and organisations.
The colour purple, which symbolises spirit on the gay rainbow flag, was chosen by McMillan as the colour used to show support for the day, observed annually on October 20.
Participants are asked to "go purple" - either by wearing purple or changing their profile pictures on social network sites to purple.
Stars such as Ricky Martin, Cyndi Lauper and Julianne Moore have pledged to "go purple", while American organisations such as the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), Human Rights Campaign, PFLAG and The Trevor Project will support the day.
Companies including American Airlines, AT&T, Facebook, Goldman Sachs, Hewlett-Packard, MTV, NBCUniversal, Nielsen, PepsiCo, Verizon, Viacom and Yahoo! will also participate.
Participating companies are expected to reach millions by distributing information to employees about wearing purple. Some have also pledged to turn their logos purple for the day.
MTV in the US will be turning its on-air logo purple while the giant screen in Times Square and the LAX Gateway lights at Los Angeles International Airport will be lit purple for Spirit Day.

Source: http://www.mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6266

Former president of Botswana called on Botswana to decriminalise homosexuality

2011-10-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

The former president of Botswana and head of the country’s Aids Council Festus Mogae has again called on Botswana to decriminalise homosexuality.
Speaking on the BBC's Network Africa programme, Mogae said that the banning of homosexuality and sex workers was hampering efforts to stop the spread of HIV.
He explained that while he is heterosexual and personally doesn’t “understand” homosexuality, "there are men who look at other men" and they too "are citizens".
Mogae also urged the Botswana government to provide condoms to prisoners, even while homosexuality remains illegal.
"If people can go to prison HIV negative and come out of it HIV positive, it means that prisons, whatever the law says, are one of the sources of infection," he said.
This is not the first time that Mogae, who was president of Botswana from 1998 to 2008, has called for the decriminalisation of homosexuality. In May, during a visit to Malawi, he condemned that country's anti-gay policies.
"We can preach about behavioural change, but as long as we confine gays and lesbians into dark corners because of our inflexibility to accommodate them, the battle on HIV and AIDS can never be won," said Mogae at the time.

Source: http://www.mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6271

Alleged serial killer - statement by SAPS

2011-10-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

SAPS GAUTENG POLICE SERVICE

Date 2011-10-11

POLICE INVESTIGATION INTO ALLEGED SERIAL KILLER PREYING ON GAY MEN... Police in Gauteng are not investigating the possibility of a serial killer that is alleged to be preying on gay men according to the media reports. Cases are being investigated individually and progress have been made in some cases. Johannesburg High Court proccedings are already in process against a Nigerian national, Paulnius Dike (30), who is accused of murdering Manolis Veloudos in April last year. Trial is continuing today. He was arrested ealier this year.Two Zimbabwean nationals have already been identified as suspects on a murder case of Jim Cathels who was killed in Hillbrow last year. The suspects are presently in Zimbabwe and, extradition processes are in progress. Several leads to identify the suspects involved in other cases are being followed. Suspects may be arrested as the investigations are progressing.

Police are also appealing to anyone with information into these murders to contact Crime Stop at 0860 010111 or SMS information to Crime Line at 32211

Enquiries:Lieutenant Colonel Lungelo Dlamini

SAPS Gauteng Media Liaison

Office of the Provincial Commissioner

Contact numbers : 082 411 5311

E-mail : gpmedia@saps.org.za

I want to give up...

2011-10-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

...I cannot do this anymore.

Q: What do you fear the most?

2011-10-08T12:57:00.000-07:00

Q: What do you fear the most?

Is it death, which the whole aspect of the unknown? Or is it life itself?

WARNING: Possible serial killer targeting gay men

2011-10-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

Gay men in Johannesburg have been warned of a possible serial killer after the revelation that at least four gay men have been murdered in the last ten months.
The Star's Shain Germaner reported on Monday that police were working on four cases involving gay men who had been bound and then strangled to death in private homes in the Johannesburg area.
The first case to come to the public's attention was the recent murder of Barney van Heerden (39) at his Orange Grove home on September 19, but now more cases have come to light.
The first is the murder of Jim Cathels, who was found at his home in Berea in December 2010. Four months ago, Oscar O’Hara (33) was murdered while house-sitting for his friend, author Ivan Vladislavic. Then, on September 11, Siphiwe Selby Nhlapo (36) was killed in his Kliptown, Soweto, flat.
All the men had been bound and then strangled. One difference in the murder of Nhlapo, however, was that after he had been strangled acid was poured on his body.
At least two of the men had online dating profiles and it has been speculated that they may have met their killer or killers online.
Forensic specialist Dr Mark Welman, told The Star that gay men should be wary of inviting strangers into their homes.
The newspaper noted, however, that the police do not yet appear to be treating the cases as being linked or as having been perpetrated by a possible serial killer.
“It would be remiss of investigating authorities to not consider possible links, and they should certainly be drawing on their specialised behavioural science unit on these cases,” Welman told The Star when given details of the four murders.
Anyone with information on similar crimes in recent months is requested to e-mail the details to Germaner at shain.germaner@inl.co.za.

Source: http://www.mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6196

Jo'burg Pride

2011-10-03T04:51:00.000-07:00

An estimated 20 000 people took part in the 22nd annual Joburg Pride day and parade in Johannesburg on Saturday, despite the threat of rain.
The festive parade, with around 80 floats and vehicles plus thousands of marchers, kicked off at 11am from Zoo Lake Sports Club and wound its way through Rosebank, eventually returning to Zoo Lake.
The parade was led by marchers, including the DA’s Shadow Minister for Labour, MP Ian Ollis, who carried a huge Gay Flag of South Africa, which combines the rainbow flag associated with the gay community and the South African national flag.
In contrast to the recent Ekurhuleni and Soweto Pride parades, statements around issues such as corrective rape and hate crimes were noticeably absent among participants in the parade.
Some exceptions included one participant who held aloft a large wooden cross with the names of LGBTI people who had been killed in South Africa and the continent while two others on a float held signs condemning Jon Qwelane, South Africa's homophobic ambassador to Uganda.
Following the parade, celebrations continued at Zoo Lake Sports Club where the large crowd was entertained by performers including Flash Republic, Lira, and international DJ Lisa Lashes.
Few among the audience were aware that local DJ Groovy Q (Quentin Jute) suffered a heart attack while performing. He was attended to by paramedics on-site and taken to Milpark Hospital where he underwent surgery and is said to be recovering well.
While the event was widely praised as being well-organised, there were a number of complaints on the Joburg Pride Facebook page about the ‘pink money’ token system as well as the long queues for food and drink.
The day was rounded off by a number of Pride-after parties across the city and in Pretoria. Joburg Pride is the oldest and largest gay and lesbian event on the African continent.

Source: http://www.mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6197

Update on the alleged police attacks on a Cape Town night club

2011-09-29T13:51:00.000-07:00

An official investigation into the alleged beating of a Saudi prince by police at a Cape Town gay nightclub is underway.

On Friday 16 September police allegedly used excessive force when they demanded that Navigaytion in Green Point close its doors for the night.

One of the patrons, an un-named Saudi prince, was allegedly beaten at the venue. He was then arrested and assaulted a second time on the way to the police station, where he was once again reportedly beaten.

It's claimed that following the man's release after paying a fine, the police station could not produce any record of the arrest or the fine.

According to Navigaytion manager Ari Nitzan, a case has now been opened against the policeman and that particular task force that were allegedly responsible for the beatings.

Nitzan said that "two very efficient police officers from internal investigation have been appointed to this case and they endeavour to get to the bottom of this and guarantee us that justice will be served".
A case has also been opened with the Independent Complaints Directorate.

"It’s amazing to see that when 'injustice' has been done, irrespective of the offence, how we as a community come together to form unity and stand in what we believe in, to fight against misconduct especially in our police force," said Nitzan.

Source: http://www.mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6169

Time for self-reflection

2011-09-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

Q: What have you done to improve your life this week?

REPOST - A discussion on the gap between LGBTI rights and everyday reality, hosted by the Helen Suzman Foundation

2011-09-22T23:57:00.000-07:00

Constitutional Court Judge Edwin Cameron will be one of the high-profile speakers at a discussion on the gap between LGBTI rights and everyday reality, hosted by the Helen Suzman Foundation.

The Helen Suzman Foundation (HSF) and the Open Society Foundation For South Africa will hold the discussion on "Bridging the Gap between Constitutional Rights and Homophobic Realities" at the Johannesburg Country Club in Auckland Park on Monday 26 September at 6pm.

The HSF said that it believes that "issues around homophobia – in particular violent hate crimes such as ‘corrective’ rape and even murder – represent an immediate threat both to the safety and human rights of many people in South Africa and to the values of the Constitution".

The panel for the event includes Francis Antonie - Director of the Helen Suzman Foundation; Chair Andries Nel, MP - Deputy Minister of Justice and Constitutional Development; Justice Edwin Cameron - Justice of the Constitutional Court; Eusebius McKaiser - Helen Suzman Foundation Research Fellow; and Ndumie Funda - Founder and Director of Luleki Sizwe.

The HSF’s Lewis Mash noted that South Africa's Constitution is one of the most liberal and inclusive in the world – encompassing the protection of people from discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation - and that a number of gay rights victories have been achieved.

“The lived reality for many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) people in South Africa, however, belies our progressive jurisprudence,” said Mash. “Particularly shocking is the violence inflicted on young, black, lesbian women in the form of so-called ‘corrective’ rape and even murder.”

The panellists at the roundtable discussion will deal with the following issues:
• Is there a gap between the rights guaranteed in our Constitution and the everyday experiences of LGBTI people?

• What does this gap say about our society?

• What strategies, both by civil society and the state, are available to remedy this situation?

The Helen Suzman Foundation was founded in 1993 with a mandate of promoting liberal constitutional democracy and human rights. Past Roundtables have included discussions on South African Identity, Sport and Nation Building, Overcoming Xenophobia, and most recently Funding the Arts.

EVENT DETAILS

Date: Monday 26 September

Time: 18:00 to 20:00

Venue: Rainbow Room Johannesburg Country Club 1 Napier Road Auckland Park. Refreshments will be served after the event.

To RSVP: contact Lewis Mash lewis@hsf.org.za.

Cape Town not so gay friendly it sadly seems

2011-09-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

This is a repost from http://www.twitlonger.com/show/d6kbde written by Ari Nitzan on 19 September 21:21:

-o-

Please read it. This information was also send to the Mayor of Cape Town, Praticia De Lille. One will follow-up and to hear if any action was taken against the SAPS/Metro Police, and if not why not.

-0-

Hi all. We would like to inform all our members and friends of Navigaytion and Bronx of the following, rather horrific incident that took place on Friday night 16 September 2011 at Navigaytion. As some of you might know we have been fighting a losing battle with the police regarding what time we close. Hence the irregular closing times, and sometimes in a very abrupt manner, which we sincerely apologise for. We are trying our best and are currently seeking professional legal help to resolve this issue for once and for all, giving you the best night out, without spoiling your fun.A Saudi prince was in the club on Friday night, when the police barged into the club bringing the night to an abrupt end. The Saudi prince has become one of our loyal regular customers, and is also gay. The police shouted at everyone to get out. At this time the prince was sitting at the bar sipping his almost finished drink, when a policeman came up to him and told him to get up and leave the club immediately, in a very rude manor. To which he replied “I am just finishing my drink” - not knowing what the fuss is all about, and as all the policemen were dressed in plain clothes and not identifiable to the public. Next thing the policeman slapped him in the face and off his chair, another 5 policeman jumped in beating him up quite badly. Screaming and shouting took place. He was handcuffed and thrown into the back of the police van. On the way to the police station he was beaten up some more. If that wasn’t enough, once in the cell at the police station, a Muslim policeman came to him and asked him if he is Muslim and if he is gay, to which he replied yes. He was beaten up some more.He was released later around lunch time with a R100 “admission of guilt” fine. Later that afternoon his very upset boyfriend went to the police station to enquire about the incident and no case number or “admission of guilt” was to be found. The prince is now in hospital for a blown eardrum.Clearly this is a case of homophobia and police brutality. It’s disgusting to think that in this day and age, homosexual can be treated like this and the police get away with it. We don’t cause trouble all we want is to have a good time and to be left alone.We appeal to everyone that we need to stand together and not allow this to happen. Anyone who can help us in anyway please contact us at info@navigaytion.co.za or 0711592501

-o-

Let’s divorce the idea

2011-09-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

In June I started applying for a different, way different, career from that what I am currently doing. Not that I am the eager one for such a dramatic change, but I just felt the need to do something different. Now there is trouble. Well, in my head. Then again is that not the worst place to have it?

Not only have I been playing with a different career, but also a different country of location all together. The issue is that it might become real, and sooner than what I might want it to happen.

Then again, there is, and really never was anything keeping me here. Maybe that is the part I dread the most, that there was nothing keeping me here.

No.Body.

And if I leave, and leave it seems I shall, I will be leaving on my own. Just me, myself, and I. What a bad combination I know, but yeah, can’t really leave one of the self’s behind now can I?

However, there is always a twist with me. The location – the dreaded location issue. He knows where I am going; he knows it all too well and he is already there. This is the issue: I can’t go there now, and if I do, it would be emotional suicide for me. I simply can’t meet him for the fourth time, it will kill me. I will kill myself rather to avoid such a meeting.

Never.The.Less.

Now I am sitting here and I don’t really know what I want to do. All the arrangements and time spend on them will be wasted, if I should change my mind at this stage. Then again and as I have mentioned above it does not seem that I have much choice but to divorce the idea of going to that one particular country.

I need to learn to let go. Move on and focus more on myself.

Read, pray, exercise and eat well the one ex once said. He did, however, leave out don’t over think things. Seems I am stuck with that little problem.

Twittering on the edge of becoming sane

2011-09-17T05:22:00.000-07:00

So I did it, no not the tattoo I have been aiming to get the last 10 odd years, but I have opened a twitter account. Yes seriously. Shocked? Well I am. The one think I promised myself I would never do. Guess that is living on the edge for me.

Anyway so there I am now in www.twitter.com – and follow me @camebychance, if you dare.

Not that twitter is that much fun hey. Okay, so there are some people I do know and find interesting and some rather sweet new people I have sort of met. But, like I keep on saying @TomCruise (aka Tom Cruise) is dull, @cher’s (aka Cher) mouth needs soap like really hard core industrial strength, @RuPaul (aka Ru Paul) doesn’t want to reply to me and I don’t know why. As for @PaticiaDeLille (aka Paticia De Lille) well she is always at some sort of party, but in the worst ever office wear – sweetie is you wanna be a party animal get some evening wear and seriously @ParisHilton (aka Paris Hilton) is really not that hot. The only bright light in this digital tunnel is @Queen_UK (aka Elizabeth Windsor), okay but then again she is already like ¾ Gin.

Anyhow, let me keep a glimmer of hope alive. Just maybe there will be some new interesting characters that can stimulate my dreary pea sized brain.

Life - the hint of illusion

2011-09-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

The fact of life is that not everything will be remembered, not everyone will make an impact, some might if only for a short period that is time. In the end we will just disappear to nothing just from where we came. This illusion of life, is not real. All it is a melodrama of hell and an attempt to survive. #justsaying

Till we meet again: Dido - White Flag - Lyrics

2011-09-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

5 minutes past 8

2011-09-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

Here I sit and brood over my alleged friends. I am going through what feels like the worst period of my life and some of my so-called friends have abandoned me. I don’t know if my miserable state is making you uncomfortable, but I don’t care, I am always there for you and in a way I expect the same in return – but you are not. It does make me think that alleged friends is in fact the correct term to use, since I don’t feel as you are real friends to me.

Yes I survived Tyler, but that 19 year old was a mistake. And he is happy now, and I am happy that he is happy. So that has passed. The ginger was wonderful while we were together, and I will always see him as a friend. But it was and I guess always will be the guy that was not a James but a Dean that stole and broke my heart. The one – the only one that managed to make me smile.

There are the few, and rather wonderful friends that are there for me. You know who you are, as do I. I love and will never forget that you are there for me. But the rest, well, a resizing of friendship seems in order. If I hurt you, it is not payback, it’s just that I simply don’t care to be your friend. I wish you luck, though miserable luck, but still luck with your lives. However, you will not be part of my live, then again I don’t think you were ever part of my life.

10 minutes past 8.

I am moving on. Without you.

Huston, I have a problem

2011-09-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

I can’t let go. I know its one of my shortcomings, but I can’t let go. Now I stand at these horrible cross roads in my life and I am about to make the biggest mistake of all – run after him.

I think in essence I have moved into the crazy zone. My mind can not and does not want to function and think rationally.

I’m forcing it not to. Maybe there is a reason for it. Maybe what I want to do is total destruction of the self.

When the night becomes darker and the tears turns to dust

2011-09-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

It is has happened, the reality that I could not prevent. Dean has left. Tonight he boarded his plane and he would be miles away by the time I post this posting and there is nothing that I can do about it, nothing.

My eyes are already swollen and red, but although it feels that I can’t communicate with tears anymore, they still keep on running. I am miserable. I am alone. I am without you. There are no smiles on my face.

You entered my life that one night, all by chance. You where sitting there at the bar when we entered, alone you were sitting there drinking a beer. I touched you arm that night. I touched you tattoo sleeve, from the top to your wrist. I smile now, thinking back, that night you tried to make me smile and it worked. You were the only person to really get that right. I did ask my friends I was with to hook me up with you, but they didn’t want to. Never.The.Less. We met again, one year later. I didn’t recognize you, nor did you recognize me, but after awhile I did spot the right arm and I knew it were you. You the guy from the bar, that asked me to dance, but I was too scared to say yes. The one with the tattoo sleeve that made me smile.

Time passed and then one night as I was looking at Facebook and seeing Dale’s profile, I spotted an interesting profile picture of a guy with the words “human” and “censored” on. I thought to myself here is someone interesting to talk to, although I didn’t knew it was you. It was only a few days later I considered it might be in fact you and it was you.

Why is this universe to mean? Why does it seem to keep on pushing us together? It seems that no matter what path I take you end up back into my life. I don’t understand that. Especially since we are so different. What is this attraction I have towards you, and why does it feel so right when you are near and so wrong when you are so far away?

But alas I can’t do a thing – you are gone. Miles away.

The dream is over. I know it now, more than before. However this reality I can’t deal with as I am not strong enough.

In any case, I send you a smile as I wish you happiness and all the best for you life. Pity it will not be with me, but I hope you will find happiness. I hope so.

Love J.

Retrospective of a past week - incomplete

2011-09-04T04:52:00.000-07:00

What a week. Some good, some bad, well mostly bad. In any case, it seems that there might be some serious changes coming my way, but I will tell you all later about that. The posting I did about the rent boy a while back has ignited a bit of a storm in my mail box. I don’t mind hate mail and threats, but yeah, that was not some much fun. I will still do a follow up story about what happened, so have a look out for that later.

Mean while, single, yeah dreary single, I am getting ready for a new adventure. But like I said more about that later once I have all the facts and get the green light.

Anyway, have a great Sunday and enjoy!

3 time (3x)

2011-08-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

You came into my life three time now. Each time I learned something new about you, although you can claim the award for the most secretive, even beating me. I don't know why this keeps on happening, why we keep on meeting.

Don't know.

But I feel attracted to you...your energy, your spirit, your sadness.

But you gone again and now I am sitting with this loss, this small sense of loss. I was dreaming your dreams, our lives together, yes I know totally premature, still it was ours for the moment. Just grand me that at least.

I miss your chats, our sense of tension. Now it is all gone.

In a way I know that this would happen, but I did just like in the past, hold on to the dream. Now that dream is lost it seems.

Gay and Zim - Web link

2011-08-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

Here is a rather interesting website link I want to share with you, http://www.galz.co.zw/. Galz is the website for Gay and Lesbians in Zimbabwe. It is a very useful site with loads of information on it. Even if you are not from Zim, it is always interesting to read about how other gay people are dealing with their issues in their countries. So, do take the time and have a look.

If you think you are unique you are totally wrong

2011-08-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

Well, were you under the illusion that you were unique? Seriously now, why would you even think that you where? We are told that we are unique (individuals) by our parents and teachers, but come on now, we are also replaceable. Surely if you are replaceable you can't really call yourself unique now can you?

Maybe the idea of being unique is to create this false sense of proud inside us, but some, sort of good hearted and in a sense misguided people of our lives. Now just think about it, how many people stand out in your life? Okay, parents and grand parents aside, who stands out? Some world leader you have not even met in real life, some dead writer, a singer that you brought her latest CD, but who really stands out and what makes them stand out - their talent maybe, the fact that they can communicate effectively and manipulate others...now think what makes you unique?

Compare, analyse and then think how can I became a unique individual? Not all of use are born with amazing talents, we have to work at it, but that is the reason for the success of the talented too - practice, and loads of it.

Guess what I am trying to say is that we may think, or were told to think, that we are unique, and in a way, in our odd little world, we are unique, but in the greater globalist world we are mere little nameless ants wondering around looking for attention. The sad thing is that most of us will never get it, some will be content with just who and where they have come in life, and a small few will reach success. It sounds rather grimy, but there is hope, it's call hard work and access to guidance to help us break through seeming glass ceilings on out way to the great path. However, always remember, you can still be replaced.

Dates and other non fruit products

2011-08-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a while, since my last date that is. That is the great thing of being in a relationship, there is no need to put yourself out there just to be rejected by guys that don't really know what they want or use you just for sex. For the latter sort of guys, I am not a rent boy so don't even try your luck.

But seriously, dating is crap. So you Skype, you BBM, email, text and then you think you know the person a bit, enough not to make the whole first date not seem like a dreary old nightmare, but with me things always goes wrong. Like with the last relationship, our first date was in the hospital. Long story will not go into it here, but lessons learned I would have to say.

Eish, looking at myself in the mirror this morning - think(ing), but not lik(ing). There stands this guy, and broken by the last, I am thinking why bother. Who in their right mind would like to go on a date with this and not even talk about a serious long term relationship. Who?

Maybe, just maybe I am not ready yet. However, if I don't I will be stuck and I need to let go of the ex. Funny enough that is what he is the ex, the past. But yeah, in a way I am still holding onto the past, or the the idea of the past, since the past is long gone.

Guess I will have to try. Try(ing).

The split

2011-08-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

As mentioned to you all before this blog will be split into different blogs, each having their own topic rather than all the topics pushed into this one blog. The new set-up will be as follows:

Living Life http://www.sortofgay.blogspot.com/ In this blog my dreary old life saga will continue.

Man Shops http://www.manshops.blogspot.com/ In this blog interesting decor items and shops in South Africa will be discussed.

Telecoms-SA http://www.telecoms-sa.blogspot.com/ This blog will discuss current issues in the telecommunications sector in South Africa.

Blue Ice http://www.blueiceinformation.blogspot.com/. This blog will be the forum for information on events and releases in South Africa, with a focus on Cape Town.

Just More Men http://www.justmoremen.blogspot.com/ This blog will be a visual blog focusing on men of course.

If you would like to contact me then just add a comment to this or any other posting. If you want me to contact you personally and privately you can do the same just add your name and email address. I hope that you like the new set-up and do tell me what you think of it. Take care and loads of load.

Fading murmurs of the hamster wheel

2011-07-24T06:08:00.000-07:00

It has been a while now since I broke up with my partner, not that I informed you about him, as I respected his wishes to remain just a shadow. But now in full sunlight, shadow removed, I stand thinking, thinking of the need for love.

My dearest brother once said that the thing that I so need, so desire is the need to be loved and to share my love. He was so right.

Never.The.Less. Here I stand alone. With sight South Easter wind blowing against my body, unsheltered and unprotected. Is this need to be with someone, the thing I so desire?

All I hear is the sound of a hamster wheel turning around and around. Squiring with each turn. Slowly moving slower. Silent.

Lost dreams

2011-07-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

...in distant dreams I can still feel...

the dreams that is no more...

but I can still feel.

Superficial friends and other scattered thoughts

2011-07-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

I have come to a point in my silly life that I don’t really have time for superficial friendships and I sometimes wonder if the alleged true friendships gained on social media sites such as Facebook are in fact real. Sure you share your thoughts, dreams, and problems with others but those are just mutterings of joys and fears.

In the last few months I have been distancing myself from alleged friends – cutting them out of my life completely. The result was, and remains rather an effect of loneness but of freedom as well. Why should I be friends with people that gossip behind my back about me? Stating hurtful untruths. But now I am free of them, away, released.

Anyway, this blog will soon be splitting up into different more defined blogs and will not be a calibration of all my scattered thoughts in one. Although I preferred having all my thoughts on one blog only, I can understand that some that are trying to make sense of it my not understand my complexities that I call brain. I will, nevertheless, soon give you all more details about the different blogs and their address. Keep well, till we meet again.

A weekend of sadness

2011-07-23T11:03:00.000-07:00

After the horror attacked of Friday night come the sad news that Amy Winehouse (27) was found dead in her North London flat. Personally I hope that the dead of Amy would give her the peace she needed, but also that others can learn from her death and look for help for their drug misuse before it is too late. Since today the world has lost a hugely talented artist.

As the the deaths in Norway, my heart goes out into tears. But the rise of the right wing political sphere has been rising in the last 10 years in Europe. Surely governments would now wake up and start to address their population's fear through dialogue and creating an environment of better understanding of international communication and cultural difference.

Let's hope that this will be the last sadness the world has to deal with for a long while. May those who lost someone dear be comforted and feel the love of their god and the goodwill of others.

Kudai - Tal Vez (Video Oficial) "HQ"

2011-07-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Jamiroquai - Alright (Cover)

2011-07-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

What do you think of this song? I don't know. It's sweet, but there is something about it I don't like about it.

Fireworks and chocolate cake!

2011-07-04T03:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence's Day to all my American peeps and a happy birthday to myself!

Lady Gaga Official Video JUDAS (Parody)

2011-07-03T02:20:00.000-07:00

Yes they do exist, the ginger ones. The might be rare and we do mock them when we see them, but some of them might be special. Well, only some of them.

Anyway, this posting is for my ex. The ginger one. Enjoy!

PS: Gingervitis is the horrible disease that infects red heads. The symtoms include: red hair, freckels, white skin, the lack of one's soul and the feeling that you don't belong in society. The freckels are known as daywalkers.

2 Girls 1 Cup - The Sequel

2011-07-03T02:12:00.000-07:00

Something different. Well, I had to, since it was getting a bit down and depressing on my blog. And what better then some crappy comedy and one of my favourites must be Laquisha Jonz.

News flash: Spinsista's July mix ECLIPSE has been released

2011-07-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

This is great news indeed. Cape Town based DJ, Spinsista just released his July mix entitled ECLIPSE. ECLIPSE has been inspired by Clifton's 3rd beach (33°56'20.10"S, 18°22'35.15"E).

All I can say is enjoy!

Click here to download for free or to listen to ECLIPSE http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediafire.com%2F%3Fqabbynwgfcgjome&h=GAQDjAoZR

Some reflections on the 30th anniversary of AIDS

2011-06-05T02:56:00.000-07:00

The following piece was written by Ruthann Richter (2011):

The June 1981 report could have ended up as just a footnote in history – five gay men in Los Angeles with a rare case of pneumonia. But that CDC report would mark the beginning of an unprecedented epidemic, as these men were suffering from a lethal virus, later characterized and called HIV, which would go on to infect 60 million people worldwide.

As a medical writer, I remember those early days, when this strange disease had no name, and the medical and political world were turned upside down.

One of the many controversies I covered was the decision by the Stanford Blood Center to be the first in the country to test for the virus in donated blood. The move was reviled in the blood banking industry, for it called into question the safety and reliability of the nation’s blood supply. The blood center later would be vindicated, as every other bank would ultimately follow suit and routinely test for HIV. Center Director Ed Engleman, MD, says Stanford’s early initiative saved some 30,000 lives.

In the early 1990s, I went to work at San Francisco General Hospital, the epicenter of the epidemic in this country. SFGH was the site of the first AIDS clinic, known as Ward 86, and I remember spending many hours there, often accompanied by national news crews, visiting patients with rail-thin bodies being drained by the disease. The only anti-AIDS drug available then was AZT, toxic and not very effective. Patients received palliative care, as well as medications to treat their various complications: cancer, eye disease, major skin rashes, fungal infections, diarrheas and so on. It was a grim time.

Then in 1996, at the International AIDS Conference in Vancouver, researchers announced the advent of a three-drug cocktail that could knock down the virus. The landscape in this country would change dramatically, as antiretrovirals would become the mainstay of care, ultimately evolving into a single-pill-a-day treatment for what has become a chronic disease, like heart disease or diabetes. AIDS wasn’t cured, but it could be controlled.

But it would be years before those medications would make it across the ocean to Africa, where two-thirds of the world’s HIV patients – about 22 million people – now live. I would have my first experience in Africa in 2004, and I came away from it feeling absolutely devastated. I have never forgotten the vision of a 34-year-old woman, Susan Andukais, lying on a makeshift wooden bed in her tin shack in Kenya, being nursed by her oldest child, 13-year-old Esther. Esther also had her three brothers to look after; they were all starved for food, comfort and the essentials of life. Susan died for lack of antiretroviral medication – an outrage to me at a time when these drugs were universally available in the West. By my third visit to Africa in 2007, more and more people were receiving medication, as programs sponsored by the U.S. government, private organizations and world bodies like the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria were scaling up. But now, with the world economic crisis, these drug programs are in jeopardy.

So I am both wary and hopeful. I am wary as I know there will be even greater suffering and loss in Africa if there is not continued – and even increased – access to medication and care. At the same time, the science of AIDS has advanced tremendously on so many fronts – from a basic understanding of the immune system to new treatments and new methods of prevention. It was telling indeed that at the last International AIDS Conference in Vienna, researchers even ventured to talk (albeit with many caveats) about the possibility of a cure.
So we can only hope that in the next 30 years, AIDS indeed will be just a footnote in history.

Update on the posting Wednesday, June 3, 2009

2011-05-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, June 3, 2009 I did a posting about men that paid male prostitutes to have sex with them and there was this male prostitute (also known as a rent boy), named Anthony B that I chatted too, to get information from. He gave me then permission to use his name and also provided me with a picture of himself halve naked. However the important part is that he gave me discretion to use the information as I pleased. I, nevertheless, befriended this man, without asking any favour in return. I think that I did build a sense of empathy towards him, based on the information he provided me (from emails and text messages). However, he did not tell me everything, but I did receive information from his alleged friends, two other rent boys and I came across a blog posting of his one clients, which where from America what posted about their weekend together in Cape Town in detail. I did make a copy of that blogger's posting before he deleted it.

In any case, I used to believe that prostitution should be legalised maybe because of some romantic ideas that people should have the right to live their life's as they please. I was wrong. This is what I found out with this case. It came out that, sadly, this person had a crystal meth addition which it seems so many sex workers have.

I also came to the point that to state clearly that prostitution in South Africa, like so many other countries world-wide, is illegal. As prostitution is prohibited by the Acts of Parliament one cannot support it, in fact, one might feel that one should have pity for people who are willing to sell their bodies for cash, as I did in the past, but one should not really. Most, if not all, prostitutes, male or female sex workers, sell their bodies for cash so that they can purchase their next drug fix. If you are in fact hiring a sex worker you are also prolonging the sex worker’s drug habit and indirectly supporting the illegal drug trade.

CNN anchorman Don Lemon comes out as a gay man

2011-05-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

CNN anchor Don Lemon (45)has come out as a gay man in his new book, entitled "Transparent," . In the book he tells all about growing up without a father and his revelation that he was sexually abused as a child. He also declares that being black made being gay feel even worse, "because of how the black community perceives a gay person. An African-American male is taught that he has to be masculine. And our community is steeped in religion, with the church preaching against homosexuality. I prayed a lot growing up that I would change, that I would be straight," he said. "But no matter how good I was, how much I prayed and denied what I was, it was always there."

Lemon says it would be naive to assume that the public won't have strong opinions about what he has written, and he's braced for some people to react negatively. "But it's important for everyone to be truthful about who they are," he said, adding that CNN has been "very supportive" of his decision to go public."

We will nevertheless await CNN's Anderson's news soon.

Hillary Clinton Speaks Out on International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

2011-05-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

Commemoration of the Seventh International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (I.D.A.H.O.)., USA's Secretary of State Hillary Clinton released a statement on behalf of President Barack Obama saying that the United States stands with LGBT activists in their efforts to stop the hate.

Her full statement, from the USA's State Department:

In every part of the world, men and women are persecuted and attacked because of who they are or whom they love. Homophobia, transphobia and the brutal hostility associated with them are often rooted in a lack of understanding of what it actually means to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT). So to combat this terrible scourge and break the cycle of fear and violence, we must work together to improve education and support those who stand up against laws that criminalize love and promote hate. As we mark the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia this May 17, let us resolve to redouble our efforts.

On behalf of President Obama and the people of the United States, I am proud to reaffirm our support for LGBT communities at home and abroad, and to call for an end to discrimination and mistreatment of LGBT persons wherever it occurs. Whether by supporting LGBT advocates marching in Belgrade, leading the effort at the United Nations to affirm the human rights of LGBT persons, or condemning a vile law under consideration in Uganda, we are committed to our friends and allies in every region of the world who are fighting for equality and justice. These are not Western concepts; these are universal human rights.

Despite these gains and hard work, there is more to do to turn the tide of inequality and discrimination against the LGBT community. If you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, know that the United States stands with you and we are unwavering in our commitment to ending this cycle of hate.

Also weighing in on this year’s I.D.A.H.O., which marks 21 years since homosexuality was removed from the International Classification of Diseases of the World Health Organization.

“The World Health Organization removed homosexuality from the International Classification of Diseases on May 17th, 1990,” said including WHO Director-General Margaret Chan. “This was an important step forward. Yet over two decades later, stigma and discrimination against homosexuals still exists, and can result in restricted access to health services and missed targets for health programmes.”

Small miracles: Uganda's anti-gay law has failed

2011-05-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

Although it looked like Uganda's anti-gay law was going to be passed last week it failed - well just. This comes after pressure from the international community which clearly shows that we live in a global village and that extremist hatred from one part of the globe can and will not be allowed to take hold.

The Ugandan religious extremist that tried to push the bill through on Wednesday and then convened an unprecedented emergency session of Parliament on Friday lost since the bill was rejected. Activist such as Frank Mugisha, a leader of the gay community in Uganda remarked the following: "Brave Ugandan LGBT activists and millions of people around the world have stood together and faced down this horrendous anti-homosexuality bill. The support from the Avaaz global community has tipped the scales to prevent this Bill going forward. Global solidarity has made a huge difference" Whereas the EU High Representative for Foreign Affairs' Office also stated that it was thanks to international lobbying and other civil society representatives, EU and other governments, plus their delegation and embassies on the ground that the Bill was not presented to the Parliament.

However, there is a black cloud since the fight is not over. The extremists behind this bill could try again within just 18 months. It does seems that Africa, and Uganda in particular is fast becoming a powerful symbol for human rights in general. Let's just hope that this spirit will not be broken.

"Alien to any skin" and "Karupukan": 28 March at 11:00 am CAT

2011-03-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

Time for something a bit more intellectual:

We all need some form of mental stimulation now for our personal advancement into a refined species. So, put the Black Label down for a bit and concentrate. Jim Pascual Agustin is launching two books, Alien to any skin and Karupukan. To celebrate this achievement an international launch is going to be held at 28 March at 11:00 am CAT.

There are two different blogs (www.alientoanyskin.wordpress.com, www.karupukan.wordpress.com) for each book with links to Scribd.com where there are sample pages up for browsing. However, you can interact with the author posting comments on the poems at the relevant blog and more so you can post your own interpretation(s) of any of the poems - a short video, a visual poetry rendition, a sketch, a spoof, a song anything at all.

However, you don’t have to wait for the 28 March to arrive to take part, and it certainly does not have to end on 28 March either. So, grab a copy of either Alien to any skin and/or Karupukan, and do the effort to take part in this unique interactive project.

ParisHilton パリスヒルトン　アルティメイトブラシ

2011-03-09T06:27:00.000-08:00

Arty - totally farty

2011-02-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

The question is is this great art? One can not really say so, it's merely just art for now.

The work above is the work of Michael de Kock Willemse that trades under the name of Herotango. Tango his work is indeed. Even if it is based on maths or just a moment when he had a stroke it really does not matter. What matters is that this work is an example of art for now, and therefore not really investment pieces for the future.

See for yourself his work at http://herotango.deviantart.com/art/Fractal-French-Horn-Opus-I-119713226.

Back to business

2011-01-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

The new year has began and we are starting to head back to the dreary world of work, and our normal old lives. Then I wonder what is wrong with a middle-class suburban lifestyle? What is wrong with that seemingly boring life?

There is some comfort that one can gain from such a dreary life style and there is nothing wrong with that. So, as you head back after your holidays just remember how lucky you are if you are living the middle-class suburban lifestyle - enjoy!

1 December - World's Aids Day

2010-11-30T10:31:00.000-08:00

I know my status and by doing that I am helping to avoid the spread of this STD. Tomorrow is 1 December - World's Aids Day. So, do your part and get tested and keep yourself educated about the spread of HIV. But remember, your status is your own business and you have the right to keep it to yourself, but if you place someone else in danger then you have a moral responsibility to inform them.

Anyone for my trash?

2010-11-02T10:57:00.001-07:00

This morning I had a rather strange shock when viewing my Facebook wall, then again it should not really be a shock. Nevertheless, I was strangely shocked.

I did remark on my Facaebook status that "...the gay world is really a queer world and I still get shocked with the koeksister dating scene that is going on. Nee genade, its like you or someone else always dating someone elses left overs."

It sad but it really feels that way, that one is consistently dating someone elses ex - the carp someone else has discard. But why pick up something like that and even try to have a relationship with someone like that is beyond me. Is it the idea that you will be superman and be able to change the sod into a prince of sorts? Yeah right if that will ever happen.

Some people are just too set in there ways and will not change that easy. Then again I might be wrong and maybe, just maybe, love might concur all. Guess one has just have to wait and see.

Deliberate sex infections atrocity - this is rather sick

2010-10-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

Deliberate sex infections atrocity - check it out, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11521872.

Pride - So what are you proud of?

2010-10-02T12:41:00.001-07:00

Gay Pride (Johannesburg) came and went, but the question remains what was its worth, if any and what is there to be proud of? Come one be real, the gay scene has been going into a spiral of descent for years - infidelity, drugs, did I mention sleping around...it really seems that the majority of gay men cannot control there penis.

So what does Gay Pride mean to you: equality, human rights, respect or the right to fuck around cos you are gay? It really makes me sick to see and hear of guys that are cheating on their boy friends just to have meaningless sex...why? Yeah, its fidelity and its not unniek to the gay sector but it seems to be more profound in the gay scene. Sure then again men have there needs, but cant it be controlled - like what is wrong with you guy? Do you need to stick you pole into every hole? No, come one. Have respect for yourself and your partner if you have one.

Yeah you should be proud of who you are and gay is only a small part of that, but in the process you should also love and respect yourself. The respect and love other...so be proud of who you are. Proud of where you are going in your life and what you will become oneday.

Pride is coming but here is the best the Pride will not see

2010-09-27T23:54:00.000-07:00

Yes the Gay Pride is around the corner...guys dressed up showing their pride for who and what they are, but there will be one thing missing that this years Pride - DJ Spinsista. But don't worry or stress, Jie-Shi was give the detials where to find DJ Spinsista's Fuck Pride Mix in honour of beeing left out of the Pride. But do youselves a favour follow the link and down load the Fuck Pride Mix, you are going to love it - its the best mix in a long while.

http://www.mediafire.com/?kgaaezl9plj6pb8

CARIBOU - Odessa

2010-09-23T23:39:00.000-07:00

One day I will say I am worthy

2010-09-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

It’s going to take time but one day I will say I am worthy. As I sit here with a 130 IQ, lost 20kg in this year and have helped Tom. Dick, Harry and even Peggie Sue I still feel stupid, fat and useless. Yeah, I hate myself. Blame it on an abusive upbringing in which I was rejected by my parents for been the black hair, Chinese looking baby that turned into their unwanted gay son. So my mental outlook on myself if all fucked up – and as negative as hell. But what can I say; I got so used to it that it has become my existence – my life as I know it.

However, I can’t anymore. I need to change, before I will kill myself. And it is in fact the change process that I fear the most right now – not knowing what is to come nor if I will be able to handle it. Just remember I have never really known what a positive outlook on life is, so this is a massive change for me.

I am worthy; nope still not connection to it. But one day, one day hopefully soon I will be able to say it. Cos I know, I am a decent guy. A caring and nurturing guy that is trusting and loving, but now its time that energy gets reflected back towards me.

Hugging myself I am thinking back to my grandmother, I think it is from her that I get my nurturing and loving aspects of my life from, but before I can share that again with someone, I need to learn to love my first. Me, myself and I – I have before I destroy myself.

One day, day I will say I love you, cos you are worth to beloved.

Dieux du stade 10 - making of

2010-08-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

Diamanda Galàs - La chanson des vieux amants, live, università Sapienza

2010-08-27T04:31:00.000-07:00

Diamanda Galas . . . Supplica A Mia Madre ( Pier Paolo Pasolini )

2010-08-27T04:09:00.000-07:00

French & Saunders - Still Alive (Cardiff) - Madonna

2010-08-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

Here is something different.

Lost in translation scenes & music

2010-08-15T03:38:00.000-07:00

PJ Harvey-Man Size Sextet

2010-08-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

Beth Gibbons - Mysteries

2010-08-11T01:02:00.000-07:00

A good friend from the North sent me this song to listen to and I just love it. So, I wanted to share it with you all - enjoy!

And then back to square one - emphasize on the one my dear

2010-08-10T15:13:00.000-07:00

So here I am sitting and thinking about my life currently and that I am alone – just I – single. Well, so I am. I really thought that the last guy in my live was the one, the real one and if I had to tell him the think I wanted to ask him I think I would have shock the Goth right out of him – that I wanted to get married with him.

But now I am thinking, should I place myself in such a position again? Is it worth it? Sure he was different than all the others, way different and so much more special in every way, but I don’t have the energy for another relationship – I think.

In the end I am stuck with me, myself and the Holy Ghost. But I wonder what will happen to me…will I just die alone?

I breathe

2010-08-09T13:31:00.001-07:00

So I went too far and the scares that I have from what I have done will be with me for the rest of my life. I feel rather stupid for what I have done and how low I pushed the depression. But now I know why I did, what I did it for - the reason for my actions.

There is a sort of freedom and enlightenment I gained from this journey that I have been on and in away still is. I saw how my real friends actually are and now I can say quite openly that I don't have many. I also came to the point of understanding that I could not force my ex into a relationship with me as he was not in that stage ready for one, although I still wish otherwise. I also came aware that he was perfect even though he could not see it, but I should have told him that - this I did the worst thing of all - I never really told him that I love him and actually worst was that I did not stand up for him and placed him before everyone else.

I have learned so much from my previous relationship even though it was so brief and we did not actually dated in the traditional sense of the word. But my time spend with him I will remember forever. He was and will always be my special freak.

Thank you T that I had the chance to get to know you. Now mista be good and follow your dreams and don't settle for less.

No words

2010-07-31T11:59:00.000-07:00

No words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39novn5B0-E

Check it out.

Happy birthday Nelson Mandela - 92!

2010-07-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

Bye friends

2010-07-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

I a virtual second I let go of friends that I have got to know over sometime. It was needed, I think, to let go of them since they reminded me too much of the past and as someone suggested to me that I need to let go of the past and start living in the present – something I have never before tried and will try now.

I still don’t know how …lol…but all I know is that I am currently friendless and it’s a rather weird sensation to behold. I will not describe it is good or even bad, but I will say that it open ups new possibilities for me – freedom. Or is it a question of how ‘dom’ (Afrikaans for stupid) can I be.

Okay fine my mental break down that I have had this week was not the first, but it was the worst I have ever had. And yes, attempt seven came and went, but I am still here. Damn, I should write a book on how to fail suicide attempts.

Nevertheless, more changes need to come in – including moving away from where I currently staying. This place is really not good for me. Guess what I want is a total revamp – for myself.

But I am sorry to my ex friends that I dropped you all – sorry, but please understand its not you it’s me, I need to be set free. I need to hit my own head and deal with the problems that I make on my own. Bye.

All the lovers that came before don’t compare to you

2010-07-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

Higher and higher as my mind goes, I can think of anyone – no lover that came before – don’t compare to you. They just don’t compare to you. I miss you. I wish things were different. I wish I handled things different, but I failed you, and that I regret. The guilt inside me will grow and will never disappear. I am in love with you – you know that, so why did you do this to me.

I'm broken. I don't feel if anything can really repair me. I know I should be letting go, but it hurts so much - I can't. I will rather let go of my life that let go of you.

Letting go

2010-07-17T02:42:00.000-07:00

Letting go is a rather a melancholic process, but it is also liberating to the mind. That is what I believe is true. And that is what I did today – I had to let go, although I did not want to. I feel rather sad that in the process of letting go I had to lose a friend, but he did not want to hear me out. I messed it up so badly, so, so badly that I could not even fix it anymore. Let go, or giving in to his wishes was the only thing I could do. So, in a way, I had no real choice but to let go.

It’s a strange feeling that I have right now – I feel so empty, so unhappy and so confused. I know in the long run it would be better for me and my mental well being but for now I can’t really see any real value to have these emotions.

Guess in time the one will feel better and can then better understand what has happened. But my feelings to you, biscuit, will always remain.

You can break the broken

2010-07-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a while since my last post – think the main reason has been since I have just been busy. From dealing with drug dealers that took a so-called friend in and tried to extorted money from me, having my tonsils removed and yeah the break-up of with my boy friend. Things have just been way too much for me to handle.

And then it happened: the broken got broken. I don’t even know why I do it to myself and why I want to hurt myself, but I did. I can only guess that the reason why I did was to make myself depressed to a point whereby I will go suicidal – which has happened now.

I think that I really just want to be in a happy place (whatever that is, since I have never experienced true happiness). Death, however, as melancholic as it may seem is something I have made peace with and rather look out for – it’s my escape – my freedom!

As I sit here typing this blog the whole idea of committing suicide is so calling me – screaming…I really think that the time is near…I will be free soon.

Touch me in the morning…

2010-06-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

I’m intrigued by the use of touch in our world, even though I avoid touch as much as possible. The interesting thing is how touch is used across the world by different cultures. Touch can communicate how connected or disconnected any group is and often is much more accurate than words in letting someone know how you feel.

However touch has risk involved to it as well. What I am referring to is that a person can never tell what another’s history is around touch and how touch can communicate belonging and worth, even a sense of community.

So the next time you are feeling out of touch, literally, with others try reaching out for a little physical contact.

Moving on ...

2010-06-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

I have to confess that I have not been totally over my ex. I have been thinking of him alot and kept on comparing other guys to him, but now I have met someone else, someone rather special.

I very much like his smile, since that makes me smile. I like the way he looks at me, since that relaxes me. I think I am falling in love with him.

For my ex, well I guess I could tell you that I am moving on...since its too late to love me now mista - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIvvyQxeC2A.

FIFA Soccer World Cup is here - well almost

2010-06-09T12:44:00.000-07:00

After months of talk, okay mostly negative gossip about the Soccer World Cup and South Africa's lack in how to handle it successfully, it is almost finially here. Besides the damn the sound of vuvuzela poluting the airwaves there seems to be a new spirit emerging in South Africa - a sense of pride. So maybe the Soccer World Cup will not be an economic success, people will be robbed, rapped, or even murdered for the usual old mobile, but still the sense of a new pride could make this event a success - well lets hope so.

Distraction: Sexy remains sexy

2010-06-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

Third Wave – The launch

2010-05-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

The launch of Third Wave Marketing took place last Saturday at The Venue in De Waterkant Cape Town. The theme of the evening “So Sweet You Wanna Lick’em” was a hit especially working hand in hand with the Fashion Show which show cased both lingerie and men’s underwear from a local designer Robyn that have her stock available at YDE under the labels of Ruby and the men’s underwear under the label Men’s United.

What made this launch so special and different was the fact that it was all planned and put together in a matter of days (4 days). Proving that 3rd Wave will make it happen, no matter what!

3rd Wave is dedicated and committed to achieve a professional level of service in a creative and original manner, within a funky and exciting, dynamic environment! To develop the business into one of South Africa’s leading creative marketing companies, and to create different divisions for growth opportunities!

1 Brand recognition
2 Product launches
3 Events and event management
4 Fashion shows
5 Functions (Private and Corporate)
6 Promotions
7 Human Billboards
· Clubs
· Streets
· Beaches
· Malls

3rd Wave is a national company that offers their services in Cape Town, Johannesburg and Durban, or any where else within the borders of South Africa!

For more information you can contact:
Anthony 072 381 7865
Jacques 078 426 1492

The launch of Third Wave Marketing is tomorrow night

2010-05-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

It is almost time - since tomorrow night a new marketing company with an edge will be launched in Cape Town. This will be a fresh and different company named Third Wave.

The launch will take place at The Venue, which is at 24 Napier Street, De Waterkant, Cape Town. The event starts at 20:00 with fire dancers and then later a dripping delicious underwear show with some really hot melting models...something not to be missed. And remember if you are in the Cape Town area you should popped in since it is an open event, and furthermore, I will be there too. So I hope to see you guys there are well.

Third Wave Marketing

2010-05-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine is launching a special marketing company, Third Wave Marketing, this Saturday, 22 May 2010 in Cape Town. So I am also in Cape Town to support him.

The launch will be this Saturday at around 8pm at The Venue that is next to Crew Bar. I hope to see some of you there and maybe have the change to meet you face-to-face. There will also be some very sexy guys that will distract you completely in more ways than one lol...so rise to attention and be there you sexy ones.

So remember: This Saturday at The Venue, Cape Town.

Distraction: Hot guys

2010-05-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

Distraction: Hot men

2010-05-04T13:09:00.000-07:00

Need to find me

2010-05-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

As I sit here on my bed I am not feeling me. And no I know its May which means its masturbation month once again, but I am not talking about that – I seem to have lost me. My identity, the inner me. Okay fine I never really liked myself, with all the self loathing to prove that, but still I knew who that person was. Now this person, I don’t know at all. He is almost like a stranger to me. Maybe because I feel empty inside as sometime has been removed from inside me. Can really explain or describe the lost, but I feels as if something has been ripped from me.

To say that I am depressed is an understatement, which a public breakdown, a latest suicide attempt – no I know I am depressed. But I have never felt like this before…something is really wrong with me. Okay fine, I fell in love with someone more than I have ever did before and lost him, but that one guy could not and should not define who one is, right. So why does it feel as I have lost so much and moreover why does it feel as if I have lost myself?

Now its time to find myself or is it remind myself of who I used to be. But in reality I don’t think that I will ever be the same person again. That is not necessary a bad thing, since I can use this as my personal rebirth, my own private renaissance.

Guess it will take time to redefine who I am and who I want to be – but I will do it, since change is enviable and growth is a must. Bu never again will I allow love to make me so blind that I lose myself in the process.

Unclear: Lack of clarity

2010-05-01T12:32:00.001-07:00

I am sorry if I have been going on the last week about my failed relationship, but I am struggling to get to terms on what happened. I did not cheat, or lied to him, nothing, yet still he became colder towards me. I good friend did ask me if he was not seeing someone else, which I just shunt away as a ridicules notion, but now I wander. And this wondering is leading my brain towards making assumptions and that is an awfully poor way to go.

And that is the main issue: I still have not reached the point of closer and that is what I want closer through answers to what went wrong between the two of us. But the thing is that its only he that can tell me what went wrong, since I can makes sense of what happened to us. And if I did something wrong what was it? Just tell me, I need to know.

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

2010-04-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

Maybe next time – the end

2010-04-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

So I had my public breakdown on a soical network site yesterday night – to the delight of some I guess. And why did I have a breakdown you may ask, well simple it was over a guy – my ex Dildo as my friends used to mockingly called him. The worst of all was that I had a suicide attempt because I could not see my live without him. The reminder of him still hurts.

But a dear friend suggested that I need to close that door and move on. Well, I know that is what I should be doing, but it is difficult to do if I still have strong feelings for my Dildo. And it has been a while since we broke-up, and I the feelings has still not faded at all only got stronger.

I really do not know what to do…I feel so empty inside, so cut-up and destroyed.

McQueen "had nothing to live for"

2010-04-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

An inquest into the suicide of fashion designer Alexander McQueen has revealed that he took a mix of cocaine, sleeping pills and tranquillisers before hanging himself with a belt in February.
According to evidence presented at the inquest on Wednesday, McQueen (40) had twice tried to commit suicide last year.

The designer, born Lee Alexander McQueen, had a history of depression, insomnia and anxiety attacks and his “disturbed” state of mind was aggravated by the death of his mother days before his suicide.

It was revealed that his body was discovered in his multi-million pound London apartment by his housekeeper. He was only wearing a dressing gown. “He certainly felt very pressured by his work but it was a double-edged sword. He felt it was the only area of his life where he had achieved something,” McQueen's psychiatrist Dr Stephen Pereira, told the Westminster coroner's court. He added that McQueen's mother's death had left him with the belief that there was “nothing else to live for.”

McQueen reportedly left a suicide note which included instructions about where he should be buried and ended: "Please look after my dogs. Sorry, I love you. Lee."

Slipping away

2010-04-29T12:57:00.001-07:00

What happened to you? You were always the quiet shy little boy with the dark hair and the Pinocchio T-shit on sitting in the back, never really fitting in. What happened to you? If I now look in the mirror I see a stranger, my murderer.

How long can I still do this? How long can I still hold on?

14/4 - The day I lost my love

2010-04-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

I met you on-line and the first thing I said to you was put on your pants as you were in a joke pick without them, and you replied that I was the first one to say that since the others said to take off more. There was always something about you: your smile, your eyes, the way your English seemed silly at times, but I was really drown to your decency, intelligence and kindness. You were so different that anyone I have met before – I was and still am in love with you, more than you will ever know.

But today I made the biggest mistake of my live so far to say we should part. I was wrong. I made a mammoth mistake. I destroyed the heart of the sweetest man I have ever met. All our dreams together just became like fading stars – disappearing in the unknown. What the hell did I do?

I can never forget you babe – never. I hope to meet you again where we can be friends or even hopefully even more. I love you – your puta.

Murder: Unleashing the unknown

2010-04-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

16 Years after the first democratic elections in South Africa the murder of white supremacist leader of the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging movement (AWB, (Afrikaner Resistance Movement) Eugene Terreblanche (69) has unleashed a tide wave of built-up hatred in some segments in South Africa.

Last Saturday, round about 6 the night, Terreblanche was bludgeoned to death by two of his farm workers Saturday night in an apparent dispute over wages. According to the AWB’s secretary general and spokesperson, André Visagie, Terreblanche was a sleep when the two black workers aged 16 and 21, hacked Terreblanche to death with pipes and 'panga' machetes (a bush knife) until he was in unrecognizable state.

The South African Press Association quoted police spokeswoman Adele Myburgh as saying that Terreblanche was attacked by two of his workers on his farm outside Ventersdorp, about 110 kilometers (68 miles) northwest of Johannesburg. Myburgh said the alleged attackers have been arrested and charged with murder. She said the two, whom she did not identify by name, told the police that there had been a dispute because they were not paid for work they had done on the farm.

The relevance of the newsworthiness of this murder was that Terreblanche was the best know Boer and represented the fear some white South Africans had about of been murdered in South Africa after the end of Apartheid. Nevertheless, President Jacob Zuma appealed for calm for what he labeled as “this terrible deed." In a statement, he asked "South Africans not to allow agent provocateurs to take advantage of this situation by inciting or fueling racial hatred."

The murder of Terreblanche, however, comes at a time on increased tension in South Africa. Only last week the Afrikaans civil organisation, AfriForum was successful in the high court in Pretoria to ban the ANC Youth League president Julius Malema, from singing an apartheid-era song Ayesaba Amagwala (The Cowards are Scared) that has the word "kill the Boer" in since the song was hate speech.

The issue is that Boer is Afrikaans for a farmer, but is sometimes used as a disparaging term for any white in South Africa. Furthermore, Julius Malema has not position in government or even the discussion making powers of the ANC, but seems to do what he likes at the disgrace of the South African people.

In addition, although there seem to be no direct link between Malema singing “kill the Boer” and the murder of Terreblanche, however AfriForum claimed the song Ayesaba Amagwala incited violence against white farmers in the country with more than 3,000 white farmers are estimated to have been murdered since the end of apartheid in 1994.

In March 2008, the AWB announced the reactivation of the party and since then it has been drawing crowds to its rallies, seduced by Mr Terreblanche's claims that an ANC-led government is turning a blind eye to the murder of white farmers, is seizing their land for redistribution and is presiding over the destruction of the Afrikaans language and culture.

The murder of the AWB leader can now only polarize the South African population into even more extreme race divisions, even though Zuma was quick to condemn the attack he still was unable to rein in the ANC Youth League to which a negative segment is pointed.

Nevertheless, the killing comes 10 weeks before South Africa prepares to host the first world cup soccer tournament on African soil, with massive expenditures on infrastructure being questioned as hundreds of thousands of tickets and hotel rooms remain unsold. The questions now would be what the impact of the killing have on South Africa hosting the world cup and in addition what use the Constitution which provided equal rights, including protect against discrimination particularly to gay people, will be in this current South African climate as well as the future we are about to enter.

INTERNATIONAL MEDIA COVERAGE OF EUGENE TERREBLANCHE’S MURDER

The murder of Eugene Terreblanche has been covered extensively in the international press.

The New York Times ran the story in its world news section referring to Terreblanche as a "white supremacist".

The Los Angeles Times covered the story similarly saying Terreblanche was "hacked and bludgeoned" to death after an argument with his employees on his Ventersdorp farm.

The Canadian and Indian press have been more lenient in describing him but make mention of the infamous incident when he fell of his horse during a parade.

Britain’s the Daily Telegraph showed no mercy describing him as "one of the most divisive figures in South Africa" and as someone who "bitterly opposed the anti-apartheid movement."

BBC news ran his obituary and perhaps used the best description: "his murder brings a gory end to a singularly ineffectual political career."

Distraction: Men

2010-04-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Sexy men: Maja Suput Ljubi me

2010-04-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

I don't know what she is singing, then again I don't care since the video is rather interesting :P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4TjCQWjCbo&feature=related

Happy Easter, Feliz Páscoa, Sretan Uskrs, Geseende Paasfees, Kellemes núsvéti Unnepeket

2010-04-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter, Feliz Páscoa, Sretan Uskrs, Geseende Paasfees, Kellemes núsvéti Unnepeket

A Happy Easter to all that celebrate this holiday. May you have a peaceful time, with friends and family. But as most are enjoying the long weekend, please remember to play safe and use a condom. Love you all.

Ricky Martin - 'I Am a Fortunate Homosexual'

2010-03-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

Ricky Martin FINALLY comes out of the closet! Ricky dodged questions of his sexuality for years, but today he posted this message on his website:

If someone asked me today, 'Ricky, what are you afraid of?' I would answer 'the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war, child slavery, terrorism, the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith.' But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, it fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with.

"Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment. These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed. What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment.

"The word 'happiness' takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution. I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am." - Ricky Martin

Sorry my friend

2010-03-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

Its sad, so sadIts a sad, sad situationAnd its getting more and more absurdIts sad, so sadWhy can't we talk it overOh it seems to meThat sorry seems to be the hardest word
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Elton John, Lyrics by Bernie Taupin

I need to say sorry to a very dear, special friend of mine. We have come a long way and I, the judgmental jerk, did not believe you could do it, but you have proved me and everyone else wrong. Please forgive me for abandoning you when you needed support.

I have learned much about myself by having you in my life. Although we are so far away, and never see each other, you will always be part of my life, no matter where each of us is.

I am proud to call you my friend!

Distraction: More men

2010-03-13T12:00:00.001-08:00

Distraction: Men

2010-03-12T11:20:00.000-08:00

Distraction: Hot men

2010-03-10T12:39:00.000-08:00

9 March 2010

2010-03-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah I said I was going to yak about jerking off, but did is my blog and I can post what I want and the topic bores me now so I am not going to. Rather there was something that was stuck in my headspace – social control. Is it not sad that we live our lives out consciously or should I rather say unconsciously by social controlled rules?

Okay, sure some rules are good for a healthy society such as don’t kill your ex, but what I am referring to are does class rules. The way you have to dress, the area that is excepted to live in, the sort of car that your must own – all does material stuff that in a way define who we are and what we are about.

Like really. Do we really need to follow the status quo just to remain part of the in group?

Today I had the idea I want to be trash. You now what they say, no one fucks like trash. But besides the obvious there is a really romantic notion to be free. That careless freedom from keeping up the appearances. Maybe Mrs Bucket would have had a better and more refilling live if she had not tried to hard and just relaxed. Damn she would have given everyone around her a break is she had just relaxed a bit.

But letting go of what one is used to and comfortable with is not easy, but surely there must be a new take on living life in a judgmental society more relaxed. Maybe the answer lies in being more conformable with the self – that evil monster that is so difficult to understand sometimes.

I still struggle understanding myself, and accepting the person that I am. But then again I am still busy with my journey.

Celebrating the first masturbation month

2010-03-01T11:29:00.000-08:00

Yeah you heard me right – its March the official first of only two month that one can truly celebrate masturbation in its full glory. In my next post I will visit this topic again. Till then, peace.

28 February

2010-02-28T04:16:00.000-08:00

With February being the month of love it should not mean that today, the 28 February, should be the last day of love. Celebrate everyday as much as you can to those you love. You might not have that chance later.

Living life

Tarot cards vs Me

1 December - World Aids Day

behind enemy lines

GAGA launches Born This Way Foundation (BTWF)

Stop the parole application of the man that murdered Brett Goldin and Richard Bloom

British gay man murdered and set on fire

Twitter- homophobic’s account has been removed

The colour purple: Spirit Day

Former president of Botswana called on Botswana to decriminalise homosexuality

Alleged serial killer - statement by SAPS

I want to give up...

Q: What do you fear the most?

WARNING: Possible serial killer targeting gay men

Jo'burg Pride

Update on the alleged police attacks on a Cape Town night club

Time for self-reflection

REPOST - A discussion on the gap between LGBTI rights and everyday reality, hosted by the Helen Suzman Foundation

Cape Town not so gay friendly it sadly seems

Let’s divorce the idea

Twittering on the edge of becoming sane

Life - the hint of illusion

Till we meet again: Dido - White Flag - Lyrics

5 minutes past 8

Huston, I have a problem

When the night becomes darker and the tears turns to dust

Retrospective of a past week - incomplete

3 time (3x)

Gay and Zim - Web link

If you think you are unique you are totally wrong

Dates and other non fruit products

The split

Fading murmurs of the hamster wheel

Lost dreams

Superficial friends and other scattered thoughts

A weekend of sadness

Kudai - Tal Vez (Video Oficial) "HQ"

Jamiroquai - Alright (Cover)

Fireworks and chocolate cake!

Lady Gaga Official Video JUDAS (Parody)

2 Girls 1 Cup - The Sequel

News flash: Spinsista's July mix ECLIPSE has been released

Some reflections on the 30th anniversary of AIDS

Update on the posting Wednesday, June 3, 2009

CNN anchorman Don Lemon comes out as a gay man

Hillary Clinton Speaks Out on International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

Small miracles: Uganda's anti-gay law has failed

"Alien to any skin" and "Karupukan": 28 March at 11:00 am CAT

ParisHilton パリスヒルトン アルティメイトブラシ

Arty - totally farty

Back to business

1 December - World's Aids Day

Anyone for my trash?

This morning I had a rather strange shock when viewing my Facebook wall, then again it should not really be a shock. Nevertheless, I was strangely shocked.

I did remark on my Facaebook status that "...the gay world is really a queer world and I still get shocked with the koeksister dating scene that is going on. Nee genade, its like you or someone else always dating someone elses left overs."

Deliberate sex infections atrocity - this is rather sick

Pride - So what are you proud of?

Pride is coming but here is the best the Pride will not see

CARIBOU - Odessa

One day I will say I am worthy

Dieux du stade 10 - making of

Diamanda Galàs - La chanson des vieux amants, live, università Sapienza

Diamanda Galas . . . Supplica A Mia Madre ( Pier Paolo Pasolini )

French & Saunders - Still Alive (Cardiff) - Madonna

Lost in translation scenes & music

PJ Harvey-Man Size Sextet

Beth Gibbons - Mysteries

And then back to square one - emphasize on the one my dear

I breathe

No words

Happy birthday Nelson Mandela - 92!

Bye friends

All the lovers that came before don’t compare to you

Letting go

You can break the broken

Touch me in the morning…

Moving on ...

FIFA Soccer World Cup is here - well almost

Distraction: Sexy remains sexy

Third Wave – The launch

ParisHilton パリスヒルトン　アルティメイトブラシ